anyhu, with the help of my choir leader, i've been able to find a good and God-given name!! *wooooo hoooo*

Nicole - Victory of the people and the conquerer of circumstances.

wooo hooo!!!!!!!!! how cool is that??

haha. anyhu anyhu, i need to go puke now. cya smellys soon!!!!!!!!!!!

welcome to

The Sunshine state of the GAP

alritey. haha. as some of my fair-and-awful weathered friends may know. i have been working at Gap for aeons. and i have made pretty damn alot of friends!

haha. here's a picture of the oh-so-lovable wendy!!!!!

aaaaaaannnnnnddddd... it was wendy's 17th birthday!!!!!!!!!! haha. so weird rite? woo hoo.. me is old. at a ripe old age of 19. *sniggers*

so freak ass full of chocolate la. its like.. chocolate on chocolate on chocolate!!

*rolls eyes* so much for the diet. i'd still choose a fruit cake/ cheese cake anytime!

and because the time i spent mugging for the A's was sooooooo tiring. i refused to take pictures. mua ha. thus, no hard evidence of the hideous looking panda-fied wannie *sniggers*















im just really really happy to be back!!! *screams*

and in the words of Diddy & chirstina aguilera in "tell me",

"i know ya gonna like it. so tell me how you want it.

you dont need to buy it. just tell me how you like it.

Do that shit. do it. do it"

oh oh oh!!! here is the 05S52 gang at peace's house. woo hoo!! sorry though, this is the only picture i took all night long cause i was to busy kicking ass at mahjong. mua haha.

alright. fine xinyao and boon hao!! i didnt exactly kick ass la. but AT LEAST i was better than the newbies. mua hahah. cant help it cause the last time i've actually touched a mahjong tile was last year! (i think)

mua haha. it was fun to finally hang out together as a class at last, with no exams stress or any other shit. haha =)

haha. alright alright. i lied. here i am cam-whoring. *sigh*

anyhu. PROM IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! i am in a shitty state, cause im so excited!! this is my freaking first prom la! hahaha.

zara zara zara zara zara. mua hahahaha. i bought my dress from hong kong's zara. wtf man!!! their zara was freaking 5 storeys high!!! *drools* haha. now i know what it's like to shop till you drop.

ke ke ke. pple who wish to see a sneak peek of my dress.... i have only one thing to say...

TOO BAD!! u've just gotta wait till after the 5th of dec, tuesday. haha. cause tt's the only time im gonna show my dress. ahhhh. i love my dress. i love my shoes. i love my clutch bag. i love my make-up set. i love my new hair colour.

I am ready for anything, baby! this is the new and highly improved WanHua ;P

this is a nice lil' drawing that i did of our "idol" family. mua hahha.

no prize for guessing who's who =)

GOSH! i miss everybody so much and im so happy to finally be ablt to hang out. haters and weirdos alike.... take a queue number and wait in line, cause it's gonna be a long while till im gonna let u guys get to me.

*boo ya!!!

but i miss him so.. my bro!!!!! where u, yo???? *tears*














where are we heading from this point onwards?? hahaha. we often ask ourselves this question dont we all?

slogging our asses off for Lord knows wat.. we students study and mug like lunatics.. all to get a coveted spot in a local Uni.. but many of us never ever get into our desired course.

even in JC, our parents decide what we study and what school we enter. damn. i so badly wanna do mass comm. *Lord give me the strength to mug*











































tee hee hee hee. woon looks DAMN scary.. and i look like a funky bumble bee la. hahaha!!! *wtf*















oopsy daisy!!! fell outta frame!! +P














ahhh.. there it is. perfect shot!! =P















*disclaimer* its just an optical illusion. im not really licking her face.. not that kinky ya?? hahaha!!!



















ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! sick of studying!!!!!!! its late.. my head hurts.. too many things to think about.. my brain's too saturated to do any blogging now.. haha.

love u all. i miss my crazy fellas. lets meet up soon. oh pretty pretty please?? =)

and boy oh boy is the lyrics funny man!!!!!! haha.. trust dionne warwick.. a classic blues/jazz singer to come out with such a weird-ass song.

haha. here it is!!!

however so......
God bless you two. Honestly.

*Shalom shalom sar shalom*

hey..im not saying i'm miss perfect, but at least i treat every single realtionship i have as something sacred and priceless.

but i've seen an INCREASED number of "cases", be the culprit female or male, everyone of these people treat love/relationship/attraction like some kind of game.

OR... something trivial, not really important and not worth mentioning.

im not just talking about me.. SOOOO many of my friends have fallen prey to such people!

i've been too nice.. too quiet.. too understanding.. for FAR TOO long. i've had just about enough with such irresponsible behaviour. honestly.

___________________

Dudes & Dudettes,

if you have no interest in a long-term relationship and/or are just "testing the waters", DO NOT and i seriously mean it.. DO NOT lead the other party on.

have some sense of responsibility people. these are human hearts we're talking about, not some chew toy or play-doh. hearts do breaks. heartbreaks do hurt.

and that very pain can never be fully healed.

love,

wanhua.

____________________

ok.. that was very cock la. but wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sooooooo angry!! and boobies im sure u know what im talking about right?

GOSH!! like honestly, i do not get it. how can people treat relationships like dirt? as though it's nothing more than some sport/game.

im not saying that everyone, cause i know there are people who tell you they LOVE you and they mean it *smile*

but then.. there are those. yes. those infuriatingly selfish people who use the word LOVE... as often as they say hello.

the word "love", should only be said to someone whom you TRUELY feel connected AND are willing to commit to.

and mind you, the keyword here is commit, not connection. yes, only if you are willing and can commit, then you are definitely welcomed to use that word.

but if not....SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

never. never ever ever ever ever use that word if you don't fucking mean it! sorry to those who cant appreciate my crude words. but honestly, im so disgusted by this kinda behaviour.

God made everyone of us special, unique and to be treasured...especially... us..women.

as the famous saying goes....

Woman was created out of the rib of Man.

not to be stepped on. not to be riden over. by to be kept by Man's side, to be protected and love.

cause for every tear She cries..... God cries with her too.

sorry to everyone who has had to read this dreary and long entry...i just feel very strongly for this topic k?? hahahha.

anyhu.. my friends have helped me realise.. i've been too nice.. too forgiving.. and too quiet.

and boy oh boy isit time to speak up.......

"cause time has made me strong, I'm starting to move on.

I'm gonna say this now, your chance has come and gone.

cause you know....It's just too little too late..a little too wrong and I can't wait .

You say you dream of my face, but you don't like me.

you just like the chase.

to be real, it doesn't matter anyway.

You know it's just too little too late.

Oh..and now you wanna communicate???

........You know it's just too little too late"

_______________________

on a lighter note...i have sooooooooooooooo many pictures taken with my fellow camwhores and lovely friends. hahahaha.

it's time to show their lovely faces again!!!!!!!!!! cause i bet alot of you miss their lovely faces rite?? as well as mine, i hope?? *sniggers*

KIDDING LA!!
















here's levin and matt. hahahahhaha. levin's trying to look blur and innocent (in case you didn't realise)

but honestly... levin.. u no need to act la!!!!!! *sniggers* kk. im the biatch kks?? we still love u loads.. don't we pple?? +P















pretty me. busty woon. sassy/sexy tash.

hahahhahha!! coolness. have i told u guys how much i love woon and tash?? haha. maaaan.. i've not met them in like forever..

and it feeels as though a part of me is missing. honestly!!! i really miss them. *sigh* esp. with so much shit goin on in my life...

but after talking to woon.. i've realised yet another time. its just so disappointing and depressing...and not to mention.. mind-boggling how come people turn out to be the exact opposite of who you thought they were.

once again.. you may have known him as a friend, and regard him as the perfect gentleman and all that bullshit... but honestly.. he aint close to wat you thought.

upsetting, yes. unnerving, hell yes.

i like this picture... ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe its because my face looks remarkably slim.. hahahaha!!

we are on the escalator..going down to Village (and no.. we're not by the sea my dearest.. hahahaha!!!!!)



















that's my bro, yo!!!!!!!! haha. my blur and very himbotic himbo-of-a-adopted-brother. hahahha.

he aint heavy... he's my brother *sings* and woon's as well. hahhahahaha!!

keep your friends close.

and to hell with those bullcrap about keeping your enemies closer.

THROW your enemies away. cause you're bigger than them. they don't deserve your attention or your pity.

people who bring you down...... should go down in the dumps.

nerves went haywire.

jitterbugs ruled the indoor stadium.

everyone hands clamped tightly together..

as we awaited the anouncement of Our Next Singapore Idol.

(it was difficult to enjoy the show man.. we kept worrying about the impending results)

when Gurmit finally said the words....

"The next Singapore is............ HADY MIRZA!!!!!!!"

mayhem broke loose in the stadium. everyone around me jumped up from our seats and screeched at the top of our lungs!!

we couldnt be happier with the results. but with that said, the both deserved to win..cause they are both so f*cking good. hahahaha!!

*but hady always has my heart..being the soul papa!!* +P

huge credit goes to both the boys..for putting such a thrilling and exciting grand finale. as cliche as this sounds, they are both winners.

and boy oh boy would you definitely be seeing more and more of them both!

i went for a scrumptious hi-tea with woonie, levin and jasmine. haha. the main reason for this meal was sorta to welcome back jasmine and celebrate her freedom after idol!! haha.

naaaaaaah.. we've missed her like hell and we couldnt wait to hang with her, once again. so we slotted ourselves into her busy schedule to dine together =)

but the one thing that makes our meetings always so special and fun.. is the very fact that we're all goof balls! and we have tons of fun.. and make lots of noise in restaurants!!

which is why.. u would probably see a sign outside crystal jade which says.. "No entry to any Singapore Idol contestants". ahhaha! man... we laughed like mad la.

and how can someone not have a good time with such kick-ass friends?? just look at woon!!! trying to stuff her face with jellyfish.. haha. and playing with her chopsticks.

i know u aspire to be able to eat as much as a walrus. but huge long teeth.. aint exactly your look babe. *sniggers*















even jas couldnt help but point, stare.. and laugh!!!















then of cause..there's our little adopted brother.. who would do ANYTHING..to prove us wrong. haha. fine!! i lost the bet.. so what!?! haha.




















and of cause.. there's the ANGELIC me.. sitting quietly in one corner. and being up to any mischeif at all. i cant help it if im soooooooo nice and well-mannered man! *cough cough cough*















woon,levin and myself.. suddenly realised that the last time we got to have a nice, long hearty meal together was about 2 months ago.

2 long and lonely months.

for jas..it was 2 gruelling months trying to fend off all the nasty and mean assholes who tried to make her live a living hell.

but being the angel she is.. she just let the snide remarks go pass her and let God's grace fill her life.

ATTA girl!! =)

we are all super duper proud of you.. and how you handled things dear. *hugs*

































hey..with glorious food..and kick-ass friends.. how can one not help but smile?!?! =)

i love u guys sooooo much.. *salivery kisses to all*















oh oh oh!!!! here's the super ultra good egg white thingy. haha. woon is like a freaking regular here.. so we let her do the ordering of dishes.

man was this dish ultra good. *yuuuuuuum* chinese food..is Zee best!!

*all my chinese food junkies.. throw ur hands up at meeeeeeh!!!!*















alright, the xiao long bao was abit disappointing cause there wasnt any soup in the dumpling!!

haha. but they seemed to enjoy it. hahha.















this is something i made them order. cause it is oh-so-gooooooooood man.. fried eel in sweet sauce. *drools*

i dunno why..but i just the crisp texture and sweet taste to it.. damn.. its sooooo good!!















alright.. this is NOT FOOD!

haha.this is my newly acquired golden guitar brooch. it loooks really nice!! so i used it as a pendant on a gold chain.

hey... gold is ghetto alright. ghetto gold =)















ok.. aside from the fact that levin was in shot.. this is a good picture right?!??!?! haha. *proud*

ke ke ke. fine fine.. i got bored after stuffing my face with food..so i decided to take arty farty pictures. and this is the only decent one!!!! +P





































friends.

i never knew how priceless they were until this year.

my sec sch best friends..jc classmates..dance khakis and idol mates..

all where sent to me by the One above. they have brought me soo much joy and comfort in the past years and im sure.. they will always be there, no matter what.

i know this is like some sappy shit.. but honestly.. i thank God everyday for sending me such quality friends whom i know i can always rely on whenever the world seems to go against me.

friends... honestly.. are there.. through thick and thin....

*can never tell u guys how much i love u all*

IM SORRY.

like, honestly.. i was a total bitch. and finding out how much you mean/worth/love me and all that.. it has made me realise my folly.

BUT it doesnt matter now. u have someone..i wont screw it up for you. cause i know how it feels to be the victim in these kinda situations. to be..the woman left in the ditch in the end.. *pitiful laughter*

you never get another chance at life.

but luckily for some girls, the men they jilted were still dying to get back with her, even with all the shit she put him through.

but hey..who am i to judge? =)

oh wells.. i will not and i REFUSE to be that same nasty person. i will not treat him like a spare tire. only when i realise how good he is, then i just take him back?!

i mean like.. men may be cruel at times.. but there are the few who are.. just...... *sigh* ya..so they dont deserve this kinda shit. like...dude!!!

haha. THAT IS WHY.. i wont be a bitch and make that his life horrible. it is fine without me. he has been fine without me for so long. he will be better in future.i can control my feelings. haha. whatever they are.

i wanna be a selfish bitch..but i don't have the capacity to see him hurt.. yet again.. by me... soooo. i cant control my feelings. sure i can!! ha. *pathetic laughter yet again*

*with a thick country accent* I am stroooong.. baby!!!!

but isnt this picture just lovely??!?

high-risk manouver alright..had to take the picture with our bodies in the water.

oh wells. celena decided to risk her camera la. haha..all because i exclaimed.. like.. pretty loudly that the raindrops made the sea look like a night sky.

its a kinda romantic notion, if u think about it. raindrops as stars.. hmmm *dreams*

the sky itself was so dark but somehow, we all had a really kick-ass time..

so me and celly were like IDIOTS. asking them to turn around for super long.

here is a sample of our conversation:

girls: "hey! turn around! we wanna take a picture of you guys!"

boys: " ---silence--"

girls: " eh handsomessssss?? can u all turn around!!!"

boys: " ---silence--- (after 1 min) Don't want la.."

girls: " *growl* JUST TURN AROUND LA! *kick*"

haha. see!! violence is beneficial in such sticky situations *guffaws*

haha. both me and cel snapped at the same time. so, that explains why only one guy , jing teng (jt), looked at my cam. hahahaha.

so much for GOOD photography skills eh?















haha. this sign should be changed to " please do not kick someone off the moving tram" *sniggers*

i've been having many severe streaks of violent tendencies. so yea. RED ALERT people. wanhua is currently extremely grumpy and an emo-mama. haha.

anyhu, here's another useless sign. sheeeesh. what about all the POOOOOR people who brought their cute little dogs to sentosa?

they would have to WALK all the way down from one beach to another.. *tsk tsk*

bad management man. haha.

speaking of which. we walked for super long la!!!!!!!!!! under the scorching hot sun.. cause there was construction going on, some roads were blocked.

we got lost at one point, but cel, being the navigation genius that she is, managed to save the day!!! hahahaha!!! =)

celly welly!!!!!!!!! the navigation genius.

*sniggers*















here are the dancer girls!!! *cheers*

its been ages since i've last been out with them all la. i miss them like crazy. THANK GOODNESS cel called us along.. haha

from left to right : ME! celena taaaaaan, jacq & ling!!!

i like the new facilities in sentosa..

sure it's messy and mind-boggling to find our way around the beaches.. but hey!! the trams and hot hangouts rock!!!!

psssst!! and.. the lifeguards have become increasingly cuter *Raaaaah!!

ok. this picture is a no brainer. haha!!

my dear miss wong weiling.. as usual.. is threatening poor ol' me!!! *sobs*

hahahahaha!! always one la u!!! miss scary. haha. eh wait.. that's me! kk.

*correction* wei ling is miss scarier-than-me!!!















here is the cutsie jacq and celly. hahaha!! They are soooo funny la!! decided for super ultra long whether or not they should remove their clothes. ahha!

which is REALLY weird.. cause their bodies are okay wat!!! unlike me, this tub of fat. haha!

hey hey hey!! but i am confident k. i like my body the way it is! haha. sure i could use some cardio but bah!!!!!!!!!!! i like it can already!

haha. my future MAN will like me the way i am! *there!* sniggers




















oh wells. it did rain like hippos and kangaroos. but!!! we still had a blast playing in the rain!!

haha. it was cool. and i still kicked butt at beach volleyball!! haha. even with the other team coming up with ridiculous game rules and such.. my team still won!!!

hahahahaha!! eat our dust!! +P

they actually made a rule to allow the ball to bounce once on the floor la! and they held the ball in their hands for like.. forever..before passing it onto the next person.

like.. how is that beach volleyball???? haha!!! u guys.. tsk tsk tsk.. cheaters!

well..it rained..it poured.. and the sea was full of funky stuff like seaweed that looked like hair and some like bubbles. ke ke ke.

and weiling.. that *&!*^(*;^&%$#! funny woman.. went to put the seaweed on her face and it looked EXACTLY like a thick green moustache.

haha. i laughed till i turned pink la. and it didnt help that they kept making fun of my laughter.. which in turn.. made me laugh EVEN harder!!!! =)

haha. we played silly games.. like "continue the story"..

i was the last female standing!!!! haha. then it was down to jing teng and andre to fight it out. hahaha.

i forgot who won la.. but it was FREEEEEEEEEEAKING funny.

then we competed to see who could keep a straight face the longest.. haha. but i sucked at that!!!!!!!!

haha. well.. at least for 2 rounds i was the last 2 standing.. haha. unlike people (like jing teng and jacq) who could barely keep from smiling for a sec. haha. it was so funny.

man...i think i laughed so much the entire day my stomach started forming abs la +P

ooooh!! we also swam to the opposite island as well..without weiling.. haha. with the quicksand like shore..i refused to stand on it!!! haha!!

then we had a lovely dinner at seah im hawker centre.. sugar cane juice and my favourite.. BEE HOON GORENG!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaahhh.. *drools*

oh wells. although the day before this sentosa outing was REALLY CRAPPY and it pissed me off like crazy.. i still managed to laugh my head off at the silly antics and games my friends came up with.

man.... i take my hats off to u guys la. u all made my day that much better. and super ultra fuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnniiiiiieeeee.. ;P

i wanna build a high wall around me. i need it.

i want to run to a nation where love and sadness doesn't exist. but that place will only come at the end of the road... which is still far ahead.

i just feel like crap.

im left helpless, vulnerable, laying naked on the floor.

no.. CHANEL woman!!

haha. alrite alrite. i've officially lost it.

but hey!! this chanel wall is so freeeeakin' cool la!! haha. couldnt help but snap a few shots with it.

oh.. as u can see.. i am wearing "skanky" fish net stockings..

why, u might ask??

cause i had to go to this BOLLOCKS seventeen party , which wasnt even a party, and the dress code was Punk Rock.

so yea. like wtf.

i WORE my tarty fish nets and ripped denim skirt.. and when i reached zouk, the freaking place was filled with pink teenage bobbers.

wtf*****

and worst of all.. it wasnt even a party. there wasnt even any music playing!!!

and when the band FINALLY performed, they sucked. BAD.

the whole event was just a beauty pageant. full of terrifyingly anorexic chicks with horribly styled outfits.

hahahahahhaha. i am so evil. kk. being a lil bit too critical here.

but its not my fault la. cause i couldnt even get a decent drink!!!!!!!!!! like.. hello????

no alcohol??? why no alcohol??!?!?!

oh.. *smacks forehead* its an underaged party eh?? no wonder.

FFFFFffffffffffffffffffffff..

see why im so pissed?? haha.

okay okay!!! let's talk about that dude. kk. his name is jing teng.. a.k.a jt.

he's a basketballer and all.. so yea.. hot bod..

but!!!! here's where it gets saucy *sniggers*

the seventeen party was sooooooooo dreadful, so i decided to work some magic and managed to get me, cel, gab and jt into Devils' Bar. and courtesy of the kick-ass band, we got 2 huge jugs of whiskey + coke.

aaaaanyhuuuu.. then!! since they gave us free drinks.. we had to return them the favour in some way rite?? haha.

and since i couldnt jam (under contract still..) sooo.. the 3 of us.. cunning lil' things.. sabo-ed jt!!!!!!

we bluffed that it was his birthday so he had to go onto stage and had to do a body shot.

body shot = lick salt off a woman's body part, gulp a shot of tequila and suck on a lemon which is placed in the woman's mouth.

and of cause.. the lady had to lick his body too =)

mua hahahahaha. u can just imagine.

hot young bod. haha. with alot of "aunties" around. when he lifted up his shirt, all the ladies practically fainted la!! even the dancer wanted a piece of him.

*laughs*

celena recorded the ENTIRE process. but.. its too explicit. so too bad pple!!mua haha.

all i can say.. is that they licked each other.. swallowed some booze and sucked on some lemon.. =)

anyhu.. after we had enough fun shaking our booties.. (guys included) we decided to head home.

haha. but being the restless brats that we are. we decided to head down for a movie at cine!!! *yea*















and here is the GLORIOUS chanel wall.

*pwhroar....

coolness *P

saw it as we were making our way to cineleisure..

its such a beauty.

it looked soooo good, i just wanted to grab a bite la!!

haha.. alrite alrite!! im corny*

cant help it.















cel n me realised one cool fact.

late in the night.. in town.. u can practically do WHATEVER u want!! and nobody will stop u or look at u in a funny way!!!!!!!!!!!

haha. soooooo.. we screamed n laughed our heads off and sat in fridges to cool ourselves down.

*lovely*

we decided to watch monster house. cause celena.. DIE ALSO WANNA WATCH HORROR.

and me?? DIE ALSO CANNOT WATCH HORROR.

i have a self-confessed phobia for horror films la. haha! so we met each other half way and settled for the horror animation..

it was pretty scary though!!! haha. i had to clutch tightly to cel's arm. hahahaha.

hahahaha. lookey here.

who do u see ladies??

tell me.. who do u see??

*screams* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

its the super ultra duperly hot stuff gardener from wisteria lane...

who is also known as mrs solis's devilishly naughty/hot/sexy/drool-worthy boy toy in desperate houswives.

damn.

John Tucker must be mine!! *sniggers*

he is soooooooooooooo hot.

his super wide grin is so charming *sigh*

chicks like me.. dig super nice & big-ass smiles..

if only i was half as hot as eva longoria.. then i'll be able to snag one like him!!

*sniggers* continue dreaming wanhua.. continue dreaming.........

oh wells.....since u wanna play.....

let's just see how well YOU measure up in terms of vocal abilities eh buddy??

=)

Once again..... may God bless your tortured soul.
*Amen

F**K OFF!!!!!!!!!

haha.. kk. can picture alot of people shaking their heads already. esp. emm and jo-jo. mua hahah,

hey!! relac la!! im trying to destress kk? *loves*

anyhuuuuu.. now.. i may be a lil chubby.. a lil flobby.. a lil stupid.. a lil bit down.. a lil bit tired..

BUT!! i swear. i am gonne be back. 101%. full force. THE wanhua.

haha. very drama rite me? haha.

nair mind. i like can already.

oh gosh.. its amazing how things can change from one side of the spectrum to the next.

one moment you're freaking emo and sobbing your eyes out.. or drowning ur lungs.. ahahha... and the next, u're so busy with the things in your life.. you can just block out everything that happens.

i really love my friends. thanks for always being here for me. wouldnt know what to do wihtout you. hahha!

and i'll hold my head up high and sing.........

I waited here for you like a kid waiting after school

So tell me how come you never showed

I gave you everything and never asked for anything

And look at me, I'm all alone

So before you start defending, baby

Stop all your pretending

I know you know I know So what's the point in being

so, "Let's get this show on the road today"

I'm looking for attention, Not another question

Should you stay or should you go

Well, if you don't have the answer

Why you still standing here

Hey, Just walk away

I want a love, I want a fire

To feel the burn My desires

I want a man by my side

Not a boy who runs and hides!!!!!




















yup. it'll come soon. i can feel it in my bones. haha. i've just been showering myself in God's wonderous love for ME!!!! yes.. me!!!!! (like duh.. of cause HE loves u guys too)

LALA TAN!!! yes. what u've said is true. i WILL try to listen to my own advice k??

haha. reuse, reduce, recycle.

*kisses*

oh ya. as u can see in this picture.

i have only one message to all of my problems..

school..exams.. fats.. water retention.. cramps.. headaches.. love..... the works..

JUST ONE WORD FOR ALL OF IT..

F**K OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha. take that and that and that!! :P

*DISCLAIMER*

this is not meant for ANYONE. it is meant as a stab at my problems.

hmmmm... unless..

you're toking about that one lil sorry ass...

haha. yao han!!!!!!!!! *grrrrrrrrrrrr*

hahaha..for those who have been dutifully reading my blog, would know where did car came from. but for those who dunno wth im saying,, kindly scroll down =)

anyhu!!! haha. guess what? as i was leaving my hse today, i came upon that gorgeous tree which uprooted and landed lovingly onto a car. haha.

and here's wat happened to the tree!!!!!!

.

.

.

.

the poor baby got chopped up!!!!!!!!! hahah. oh wells. who asked it to land on the car.. and cause a massive jam! haha

as u can see in the first picture. it's a MASSIVE tree!!!!!!!!!!!

and imagine it landing infront of your beautiful (and expensive) car. just as you are driving. and minding your own business......

WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *crash*

a big fat tree lands on the front of your car.

wooooooah nelly!! i would just scream my lungs out la!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.

anyway.. yes.. finally it was sunny today!!!!! =)

but i THOUGHT it would rain again.. so i cancelled my sentosa trip.. dang it.. oh wells.. i went out with my daddy n mummy instead!!!!!

oh man. i have missed my daddy so so much. he finally took leave and now he's back in singapore!! with us!!! yeeeeeaaaaaaaa..... *grin*

i was just having a helluva good time camwhoring!!!!!!!!!! *wah ka ka ka*

anyhu.. my dad decided to head down to the new outram hawker centre. since his little princess (a.k.a ME) has been a spoilt brat lately.. ahahahhaha!!

*cough cough* i mean.. pampered.. hahha.. so we headed down for some good ol' hawker food!! yeeea... grease.... yummmy.... hahahhaha.

we ordered LOADS of fattening food man..

i ordered my favourite... Or Lua!!!!!!!!!! for my ABC frens.. *rolls eyes* it is the oyster omelette!!!!!!!

haha.. soooo oily...............

but who cares!!!!!! i tell you.. it was so sinfully good man. *drools*

then!! hahaha.. we happily chomped and chomped away.. but.. i've gotta go back to dieting tomorrow already. cant allow myself to slip down the slippery slope to fatness. haha.

dammit. just met up with one of my fren.. and she said something.. (damn sad)

===> "oi!!! u ah! since when did u start gaining weight?!?!? u've lost ur flat tummy la! look at that.. tsk tsk.. u ah.."

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.. major sadness la.. but nvm, i will go on my diet and exercise like there's no tomorrow.

and i BELIEVE that it has been done. and i have already started losing weight. In His Mighty name... ke ke ke. anything is possible *hallelujah*

anyhuuuuu.. here's wat happened to the food!!!

now you see it. now you don't!!!

after lunch, we headed down to the wet market.. cause my mummy dearest wanted to get some smelly fish. ahahha! which will taste damn blardy good..after being "processed" by my mummy.

anyway..as i was happily walking along and minding my business..

then outta that orange coloured sky..

wham! bam! alakazam!!

i saw a horrific sight.......

.

.

.

.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! oh my goodness.

i totally flipped la!!!!! i was holding onto my dad's arm for dear life.

frogs!!!!!!!!!!!! the most hideous creatures EVER created by the Mighty hands above.

forgive me for saying this Dear Lord, but why did you create frogs!??!?!?!??!???!?!?

they creeeeeeeeeeeeeep me out beyond words. gosh. i cant even bear to look at this photo. hey hey!! it took alot of guts to take this picture k!!

i was practically on the verge of crying..... have a terrible phobia....

*eeeeeek*

and all you horrible people out there!! actually buy live frogs and cut them up into gazillion pieces... skin them alive.. chop off their legs.... dig out their guts and eyeballs..

and throw them into your porridge/soup/boiling water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E-V-I-L.















and look at this!!!!!!!!!! pigs' brains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there were 7 brains being sold. 7 poor piggies.

i mean.. i have nothing againt eating pork man.. *loves* but brains... errrrrmmm.. abit too gross right??

and the auntie kept psychoing me to buy some!!!!

(in hokkien) Good for the brain!! will make you smart!! must eat before your exams ah girl!! good for you!!

*faints*

if i DO eat it.. which will never happen.. BUT IF i do.. i'd just picture pigs with half opened & bloody skulls coming after me la!!! *gruesome* wouldnt even be able to think of my paper at all. hahaha.

hmmmmmm. that's food for thought. hahah!

CHINESE!! pffffffftttt. inhumane beings. they'd just eat anything which walks on four legs.

*tsk* horrible people....

.

.

oh wait a minute!!! I'm a chinese!!! hahahhahahahhahhaha. oh wells. all i need is my or lua and i'll be happy. u guys wanna eat brains?? knock yourselves out man!! need the blender???

ha! imagine... coffee bean/ starbucks new drink!!!

*brain ice blended!!!!! *pukes*

















oh..for those wondering what the hell is the thing im holding in my hand.. hahah!! its this funky knitting needle.. i think its knitting..

ahh.. wat the heck.. its just something that makes lovely patterns out of a string of wool =)

look!!!! this was my practice piece. and it looks lovely.. hahahaha!!!

i've started on my "knit wanhua a nice skinny scarf" project already. its about 80% completed. shall show u guys.. asap..

but don't worry!! it's akan datang!!!! =)

hahahaha. i think i've become THE perfect stepford wife la. not only have i learnt how to 'knit'.

i've learnt how to make kick-ass bo bo cha cha *satisfied smile*

sooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooool. finally!!! i now can make.. (dessert list) tau suan, boo-boo cha cha, papaya and gingko nut "tang shui", green/red bean soup and sweet potato soup!!!

mua hahahha.. can open traditional chinese dessert shop already la!!

the uber yummy chewy bits!!! i added all-naturel colouring to it. to make it look cuter. hahaha!
















steaming the sweet potato and yam....

didn't get a chance to take a picture of the finished product.. cause my family is filled with greedy people!!!!!!!!!!!!

they scooped up everything la!! even before i can take a picture.. sheesh.. hahaha!!

*licks lips*

haha. im trying to create a totally kick-ass dress myself.. and of cause with the help of my super-tailor ROSLAN!!!!!!!!! *hugs*

anyhu, here's wat i found from the net. cause since i was studying like mad, i didnt realise that the emmys just passed!!!!! *k.. i am a sua ku* =)

so here's the BEST of the Best Dressed List. well.. to me at least.

The one and only.... EVA LONGORIA!!!!!!!!!!!! *drools*

damn she looks good. and i like her dress alot alot. shall add it onto my collection of dresses. ha!
























here's another one i ripped off from some online vintage dress auction house. sooooooo nice.

its kinda weird. cause now im seriously into the 40's vintage style. as my gd friends can tell, i've even tried red lipstick!!

yes!! siren red. smoooooooooookin' red lipstick.

hahahahahaha. i really love marilyn monroe though. she may be a bimbo, but hey.. she's damn hot la!!!!

plus.. she's like an immortal already. she's been dead for aeons and people still honour her every year on her birthday. and she has hodes of people who earn their living by impersonating her!!!

*cooooool*















aaaanyhu.. today was an extremely chill-out day, cause it was raining like elephants and kangaroos la!!!!

sheeeeeeeeesh. and because of that, levin came over to my place to bum off dinner from me and hitch a ride.

hahaha. all thanks to my beautiful and kind mummy dearest. she couldnt bear to see two (pathetically broke) kids running in the rain to catch the bus. haha. so she sent us to mediacorp to catch the show!!















unfortunately, it was the MOTHER of all jams!!!!!!!

both sides!! jam packed!!!!!! i left my hse at 630pm. and after 20 mins, we were only 2km from where we left. *grrreeeeeeeaaaaaat*

and before long, we saw what was the *^!*#^!&#% problem that was causing this stupid jam.

a freaking tree was uprooted and landed on a car.

yes. now all of you guys can let out a loud "OH MY GOSH!!!!"

it was too good to be true, so i quickly took out my handy phone and took this blur picture.

haha. and my mummy scolded me la!!

"you are so bad know you!! the man so poor thing and here you go taking pictures of his car and taking down his car plate number."

hahahaha!!! yes i did!! u know like how those ah peks and aunties always take note of the car plate number of the vehicle which has been in an accident??

ha!

i've become that auntie!!! *evil laugh*

just for the kick of it la. and if anyone of you wanna strike it rich. here's the car plate number. knock yourselves out!! =)

6514















alriiitey! we finally manage to get out of the stinking jam at around 7pm. haha. i even managed to teach my mum a new short cut!! haha.

*i am so smart*

ke ke ke. even my mum was surprised by the fact that i actually KNEW singapore roads and could even teach her a short cut. *sniggers*

thanks ah mummy =)

anyhuu.. then i saw jasmine's BIG NAME on the vending machine. haha. so cool.

its really interesting cause vandalism is actually illegal, but here, people go all out to show their support and love. haha.

and the mediacorp staff pretty much let them do whatever they want to!

and just as i was enjoying myself with the company of woon (miss always super late) , lev, roslan, anabelle, chris and mrs twohill.

we went into the studio. and we saw our nemesis. well.. sorta.

he had the audacity to request for us to move out of our seats. when in the first place, we were OFFERED the seats by the freaking FLOOR MANAGER *God bless his soul*

and he acted as though we were gonna jump infront of the camera and hog the limelight.

like.. HELLO?!??!?!??! can you kindly use that tiny pea brain of yours to think for a second??

WE DO NOT WANT THE CAMERA IN OUR FACES AS WELL!!

((*^&^%^$%#%

idiot.

honestly, would we be that dispicable?? and the fact that he gave us that smug *^#*@^# look of his while barking at us to "leave now. go find other seats."

like hello mister!! we hav the f-ing tickets alrite?! and we were GIVEN those seats. freaking mofo. no sense of respect at all.

we are there to support our friends. that's all. so what the hell is his mind so screwed up. we're not attention whores. please. get that through your thick skull!!

argh!!! i cant begin to tell you how pissed off we were!! that asshole.

Yao Han.

You mofo. if i ever see you with that smug grin on your face again. i swear that i'll twist your neck and poke your eyes out.

one more time you ass. just try us.

he ALWAYS forgets the fact that he is a nobody in mediacorp and that he is severely outnumbered by all of us. *genius*

he even made woon so upset that she cried la!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!

and i was so pissed i couldnt even enjoy the show.

nvm. argh!!!

as usual, we went for prata after the show.

me and woon stuffed our faces with beehoon goreng and kosong prata. cause we were sooooo freaking pissed off.

and getting angry makes you extremely hungry. or isit the other way around??

ah. watever. haha!

anyhu, as we talked about it. we started feeling better and we forgave his sorry little ass.

thinking about it. he's running around, doing so much hard labour.. just for a measly pay. PLUS, unlike in the states where the pple working in the media sector truely have the passion for it, he's just doing it for the sake of money. he could care less about the "passion" and the "people".

*wtf.. his eq is freaking low to begin with la. he even had the balls to barge into the top6 female's room. like hello?!?!?! havent you heard of knocking?? what if the girls werent dressed??

moron.

aaaaanyyyhuuuu.. yes! it is true. most of the people in the team have no passion for music and neither do they give a damn about finding a star!

all that they can think about is the millions that they'll be able to squeeze outta the idols. but that's another story. shall not go on anymore.

before the show, we were toking to mrs twohill. hahaa. and levin managed to psycho her into giving him her entire bouquet of roses!!!!!!!!

woah. *salute*

haha. levin has a glib tongue. me and woon are proud of him!

*rolls onto floor laughing*

anyhu, since he conned poor old mrs twohill out of her roses, i decided to steal it from him!!

and he!!!! being the lovely bitch that he is, didnt even let me take more than 3 stalks!!!! *grrr*

hahahaha. but, i am the master of psycho-ismn. sooo, eventually he just gave in to me. haha! *shiok*

and i managed to rip off 6 stalks altogether!!!!! =P

*applause*

the roses were so lovely!!!! they had long stalks. so pretty.

sigh. never got flowers before. haha. not counting friends. so sad. but nvm!! haha. i make lovely bouquets myself. hahah!

i was so bored at home, that i decided to measure the super long stalks!! haha.

________________________

1st sample of rose stem length = 58.4cm

2nd sample rose sstem length = 58 cm

3rd sample rose stem length = 57 cm

* avg. stem length = (58.4 + 58 + 57) cm / 3
= 57.8cm.

________________________

haha. this is what happens when u study too much. hahaha.

my mind is seriously screwed la!! i need to relac relac.

or in the words of my good & irritating buddy,

JIAGA SIKIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

been so bogged down by soooo much stuff!

the stress is reeeeeeeeaaally getting to me.

but its kinda too late now. nvm!!!!!!!!! i will fight n press on for me A's.

*freaking A's

hahaha. but lev is so adorable la. haha. he chided his collegue... for the way he was handling his relationship problems. ha.

*sniggers* oh wells. lev said that his collegue's prob was kinda like.. erm.. lik mine.

except for the fact that all the parties involved.. are men.. yes.

oh wells! it ish ok lev!!

haha. ur poor collegue. haha. bet u scolded him good eh? haha.















anyhu!!!! i saw this clutch at Miss Sixty.. where lev is working at. nicey nicey!! but its like %&(%*^! expensive la..

and this pair of ear rings. ahhhhh!!!!!!!! dman niiiiice! dammit. cant afford it.

*piss off*

hahahahha. wonder who would spend soooo much on a pair of ear rings la!

haha. so i had to settle for teasing woon by posing with all the bags that she wanted to buy.

my goodness. she actually bought a bag!!! haha. and she's gonna buy this one tt im clutching tightly to my body!!! hahaha!!!

*rich kid* pffffffftttt!

oh weeeelllllsss......

just came back from church. it was a healing session today. haha. was amazing to see the miracles that the Lord can bring unto us.

He healed so MANY brothers and sisters today. hmmm. He truely is Great.

well well... yes. i know i'm the Resurrected Child of God.. and nothing can stand in my way.

but i cant help but feel that empty void inside of me.

i am sad.

i've tried hard to fight it. but it keeps on coming back at me.

im done with pretending that it's all fine and dandy.

the camel's back has snapped. ha.

( i dont wish to be emo. but sorry guys!!!!)

" eventhough its bad to wallow in depression. always allow yourself sufficient time to mourn.. its only Human that we feel sadness. so dont move on too quickly, cause you'll just end up being in denial and u will never truely recover.

just like wet paint which dries only on the surface, but is still wet underneath.. and whatever that rests on it will just end up getting stained."

-wise words from a friend.

i dunno why. but she's always there just when i feel that all is lost. ya. thanks babe. really appreciate it.

i think im just stressing too much bout everything. jolly well knowing that i am the only one who's feeling so sad over the whole affair. *sigh*

why do i always make myself suffer?

wouldn't it be easier if i just let go...

just letting go of everything...

but somehow something is holding me back.. i dunno why.. but it is wat it is!!! *sigh*

(lev..i noe i've promised i wont sigh.. but i cant help it la!!!!!!)

i WAS fine. but somehow.. it all came rushing back. once again.

the same sappy situation. once again.

why does it always have to be like that? *gosh*

damn.. im getting a headache again.

and as usual.. when im emo.... lyrics come to my mind... haha.

*enjoy???


__________________________________

There is beauty in the dark side

I'm not frightened

Cause without it , I could never feel the sun.

So I scream, scream cause it hurts.

Your every word cuts me inside

and leaves me feeling worse.

Is anybody out there?

Does anybody see?

That when the lights are off, something's killing me.

I know people care cause they're always around me.

But when the day is done and everybody runs,

Who will be the one to save me from myself?

Who will be the one who's there?

And not ashamed to see me crawl?

Who's gonna catch me when I fall.

I don't do excuses.

I just want to know why.

It's just a breakdown.

It happens all the time.

Don't even try,

I know you wanna help me,

but just let me cry.

Yeah, I loved you so

but you don't even know a thing I feel inside.

No, by the look in my eye.

It seems that I'm just fine

but I just need you to hold me tight.....

(let me indulge here k??)

*&*^*(@# *^&$^# *^&^$$ &*^$$*(&% (&%#@#*()

*pauses to catch my breath*

wah lao....i am OFFICIALLY DEPRESSED!!!!!

not only do i have to go through hell.. being stuck at home.. with my lonesome self.. studying my eyes n brains out..

not to mention.. wiht no msgs being sent to my phone.. to give me a break from it all..

I STILL HAVE TO KENA FOOD POISONING?!?!??!!??!

*dear Lord.. why me? why now?*

wah liew. think it's due to all the irregular meals.. and NONSENSE shit i've been putting into my mouth..

(cause got no one to cook or to take care of poor old me)

hahaha. plus!! there was nothing in my stupid fridge, so i couldnt cook anything. bleah *pukes*

perfect timing la. loneliness. angst. depression. stress. frustration.

now i can add another one.. suffering!!!!!!!!!

now i can truely understand the lyrics of the song by SUV called "weak"

"i get so weak in the knees

i can hardly speak.

i try to control mysefl but something comes over me...."

wah lao. im stuck in a deep, dark rut. filled with puke.. and you-know-what.

hahahaha! im learning to laugh in the face of adversities alrite!! cut me some slack here!

alritey.. gotta go do another merlion stunt into my best friend now.. *kisses* *pukes*

oh!!! this is a picture dedicated to my lovely levin ng. ha!! sorry ah. couldnt find the "h" version. but anyway!! since ur liek our sister.. or sicne u behave like one..

u shall be an official bimbo now!! *sniggers*

SALTUE!!! Bimbos of the world unite!

*pukes into toilet...again*

From it all..

yup yup!! tt is my beloved roslan!! haha. after soooo long.. i think it has been like aeons since i last met him la! yes. happy. haha.

oh.. lovely girls out there. he is one talented kick-ass designer!! haha. and he's designing my prom dress for me!!! yes. yours truely. *sniggers*

bet u all are just getting so envious.. mua ahha. i have my own personal fashion stylist/ designer la!

anyhuuu.. yes.. i went to watch the show. *guilty* cause i was supposed to be studying.

but my brain was seriously stagnant. nothing was flowing. in or out!

so i decided to watch the show.. together with levin, woon anabelle and of cause, roslan.

oh. the show was pleasantly surprising.

many tear jerking moments too. esp when hady sang tt song. *wow* plus.. i was extremely proud of jas n paul as well. they did really well this week. esp their cheena songs... best.

I SALUTE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! =)

and yes. there is another person i'd like to salute.

i know he is the butt of all jokes. cause of all controversies. and the target of alot of hate and displeasure.

but to Joakim. i know how sad u are with all the critisimn and negative things tt pple are saying to you.but i admire the way u bravely took all these in your stride. and continuing to press on. and fighting for your dreams.

sure.. they say u have no voice. blah blah blah. well, at least u had the guts and balls dude.

honestly, his voice is not fantastic. and i am NO ONE to judge. but i really applaude his Graciousness and Optimismn. even in the midst of all this backlash and unkind insults from people and the judges.

he deserves some respect people. really. think about it.

if i were the one who stood on the stage today, and Ken + Florence said such crude things to me.. i would have just crumbled and bawled my eyes out.

but he didnt do that. he just smiled and took things in his stride. that, ladies and gentlemen. is commendable human spirit.

*i wish u the best Joakim. hopefully u'll get wat u wish for* ..ur in my prayers

ANYHU!!!!!! to a lighter note..

haha. i brought bubble gum to the show. yes. not those small ass kinds where u can barely chew anything.

i brought those BIG ASS bubble cubes!!!! haha.

but woon and lev.. being the lousy pooks they are. couldnt even blow a decent bubble la!! like.... hello my dears??? haha. =)

k.. im very mean. but its true lor!! look at that babe!! is tt even a bubble?!?! *tsk tsk*

must give u a proper lesson on how to produce a nice bubble-ed gum =)

lousy poooooook!!!!! no perseverence.

but nvm.. me still love eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! *kisses*

been really bogged down by so much stuff recently... and the looooooming prelims.

*&!(*^#&%*#%!&%#!^#*(!&*

yes. i am officially stressed. depressed. sad. and lost!!!! (not forgetting to mention.. helpless)

haha. anyhu.. i went with levin, woon and ana.. cuz roslan's hse was too far away from the prata place.

I come before Your throne

To worship at Your feet

To look upon Your nail-pierced hands

O Lord

How awesome is Your Love

For you, Your grace restores my soul

You've set Your heart on me

You've set me in Your righteousness

Fall afresh on me

Move within my heart

Let Your tenderness consume me

Pour Your love on me

Like rain upon my face

Till everything I am is lost in Your

embrace

Fall afresh on me..

____________________________

Dear Lord, fall afresh on me.

Move within my heart.

I know You love me Lord...

teach me how to love You and those around me.

Remove the coldness from my heart , O Lord.

Teach me. Guide me. Fall afresh on me.

Till everything i am, is lost in Your embrace.

*amen*
____________________________

Well youre the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last

k la k la. i have weird ways of dealing with things and react to situations. haha. but who cares!!

I AM ME!!! =)

*And i know u guys love me.. haha

anyhuu.. i was trying to really study. but i had so much to tell clara.. or to weep to clara about. haha.

but nvm, she wouldnt let me mop anyway. (she's always scolding me..and asking me to CONCENTRATE LA!!)

as i was saying... i was trying to understand that damned kidney chapters.. urine formation.. nephrons.. blah blah blah..

and i saw the mathilda badge on my pencil case.

and i feel really really really bad. cuz i kept going on and on and on about my problems. i think she couldnt study cuz of me.

shit!!!!!!! i am so horrible.

*shy*

LOVE YOU RA!!! (hugs) you're the few pple i can depend on.

my my!! so happy.

at least i could get my mind of stuff. ha.

but nvm. we love u too much. haha.

and sooo.. we called woonie boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we started singing like crazy toots at the void deck!!!!!!!!!! ha!!!

but judging by how we didnt tio any complains.. or kena chased by anyone..

tee hee.. we are goooooooooooooood singers. =P

i even recorded levin's horrible christina aguilera impersonation on my phone!! but i..being a techno idiot.. don't knwo hwo to upload it to my blog.

too bad!!! haha.

*someday we'll know..

if love could build a mountain..*

oh wells... soon woon came. wow. i never knew hwo much i missed her.

i've been so caught up in my little world of twisted emotions and sorrows that i forgot bout listening and sharing with my friends!

i feel horrible because of that.

but i noe they love me.

and i love them too.

*sigh* i cant stop loving you too. you.

but nair mind!!! i went to church today and wat pastor prince say way true.

"when things go wrong,

Step back.

Evaluate the situation.

Give him fair warning.

And wait.

Show yourself respect and love. before expecting others to love you too.."

that's kinda true. oh wells. i feel very inspired today. after that service, it's like a load of my shoulders.

i'd hate to be a burden or a cause of sorrow to someone. so i'd rather back off and wait.

*im waiting for my Prince to come... la la la lala la..*

i'll try waiting...
as someone who's very much concerned bout your well being.

and get on with my studying..... *prelims.. hmmm.. *!&@(*!^#(*^!*

talking to emm has helped cleared my thoughts. but it only helped that much. only if that person could give me an answer.

emm and vk have helped me to see things through the eyes of a Christian. one thing that both of them said really hit that spot in my heart.

" Bring your sorrows to the Lord in prayer.

Don't dwell on your sadness.

When you feel so much distress and sadness,

when you cry,

The Lord cries with you.

Just throw your vulnerable self at his feet.

He will catch you."

*cries*